Grand Assault

All reviews - Movies (231) - TV Shows (40) - Books (5) - Music (59) - Games (71)

He lives!

Posted : 1 day, 15 hours ago on 11 May 2008 08:09 (A review of They Live)

They Live is another cult favourite from sci-fi supremo John Carpenter. Based on the short story Eight O’Clock in the Morning by Ray Nelson, They Live follows a homeless labourer who has drifted into Los Angeles in the search for work.

Set in a future where the divide between the rich and the poor is exacerbating at an extraordinary rate, unemployment and homelessness are common place. Finding temporary residence in a shanty town he soon stumbles on some seedy goings on in the local church who are scheming under the façade of a soup kitchen.

Before the protagonist has a chance to investigate, the church is raided by the brutal police force who soon turn their attentions to the rest of the shanty town settlement, bulldozing everything in their path.

It is not long before he finds out what all the fuss is about with a pair of sunglasses which have the extraordinary ability to reveal the chilling subliminal messages which litter every advertisement and packaging label in the city. More importantly, the sunglasses give the wearer the ability to witness a horrific alien race who have seemingly integrated secretly into human society.

It is not long before the previously calm and optimistic construction worker turns renegade in a bid to oust this vile scum from his planet! Cue some extremely memorable lines and a series of wild encounters with the totalitarian police force and various haphazard security forces and you have a thoroughly entertaining 80's action film that never fails to deliver.

John Carpenter, what a legend!

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Just the facts ma'am.

Posted : 2 weeks, 3 days ago on 25 April 2008 07:18 (A review of Dragnet)

A classic comedy and crime caper starring Tom Hanks and Dan Aykroyd as a pioneering dysfunctional cop partnership. Relatively unheard of as far as I'm aware, this film was brought to my attention by a friend of mine who had obviously only bought it because of the cast listing, but I'm glad he did.

The extremely articulate and precise Joe Friday is a cop who does everything by the book. Upon arriving at work one day he is unwittingly assigned to partner the increasingly unconventional Pep Streebeck, a wise-cracking ruffian who is perhaps the loosest cannon on the ship. together they are charged to break open a religious cult who are terrorising the city.

Obviously, the partnership is doomed to succeed comically, but fail professionally and they're the best type of partnership. Eventually the duo come to realise and respect each others faults and manage to blow the case right open. I thoroughly enjoyed this film, from its great soundtrack through the hilarious partnership and right down to the final scenes in which Joe Friday managed to pull over a commercial airliner using his standard issue LAPD harrier jump jet. Classic stuff.

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The Green Mile review

Posted : 2 weeks, 3 days ago on 25 April 2008 06:32 (A review of The Green Mile)

I'd always appreciated Tom Hanks as an actor, but this was the first film that I remember seeing that made me appreciate what a phenomenal talent he really is. It's a slow-burning story regarding the relationship between a group of prison guards and the inmates contained on death-row.

Based on a book of the same name by Stephen King, the film focuses on the arrival of a convicted 8ft tall African-American inmate at 'The Mile' who has been sentenced to death. Rather than fulfilling a ferocious stereotype, he instantly displays himself a gentle giant who is over-emotional and even afraid of the dark.

Hank's warden character builds an emotional rapport with the inmate, but is soon amazed by the otherworldly healing powers that he possesses. Coffee, played by Michael Clarke Duncan, seemingly has the ability to absorb ailments and illnesses out of a person, leaving them completely cured and during the film manages to bring a mouse back to life and cure Hanks of his Urinary Tract Infection. At one point, they smuggle the prisoner out of the jail at the expense of a sadistic new warden and take him to the terminally ill wife of their boss. Again he demonstrates his healing powers and cures her, before being transported back to jail to await execution. The final scenes in the prison are extremely emotional and Hanks conveys the kind of emotional range that highlights his superb abilities as an actor.

The story is told retroactively in the form of a flashback from Hank's character who, decades into the future, is still alive and well - an occurrence he attributes to the extraordinary healing powers of John Coffee that he encountered all those years ago. The film concludes with him proving the details of his story by producing the mouse that Coffee also bought back to life, before dwelling on the fact that although he has lived a healthy and long life, he has had to watch everyone around him die - something he describes as a 'punishment from God for killing one of his angels'. The ultimate conclusion reinforces this observation, when the woman he was telling the story to also passes. Totally tragic stuff, a real tear-jerker!

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Pulp Hits review

Posted : 2 weeks, 3 days ago on 25 April 2008 05:55 (A review of Pulp Hits)

This album will do nicely in anyone's collection. There was a lot of column inches dedicated to the banal rivalry between Blur and Oasis during the late 90's with their own brands of inane 'Brit-Pop', but for me, Pulp always had the edge with this genre. Sure, Oasis and Blur produced one-off albums that were filled with highly enjoyable pop-tracks, but Pulp had more of a longevity about them. You may also notice that they have since retired gracefully, rather than drag out their smidgeon of musical talent over an entire decade.

Furthermore, Pulp weren't relying on some media-orchestrated hate frenzy between one band and their rivals to sell records. Having said all of this, I only gave this album a generous 6 out of 10, which probably speaks volumes about what I think of the Brit-pop era in general.

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QI review

Posted : 2 weeks, 3 days ago on 25 April 2008 05:46 (A review of QI)

QI approaches the panel quiz-show format from a whole new angle. Hosted by the flamboyant know-it-all, Stephen Fry, contestants are awarded points, not for necessarily knowing the correct answers to a fiendishly difficult question, but by being the most interesting and having the greatest knowledge of miscellaneous facts regarding the topic at hand.

Furthermore, contestants are routinely berated if they slip into the traps set out by the quiz-master by answering a question with a popular notion, or old-wives tale that despite popular belief, isn't actually true. It's a real eye opener of a show and if knowledge is your game, I'd definitely recommend watching it, because you pick up a lot of miscellaneous trivia and rebuttals to common misconceptions often banded around by others as gospel in your every day lives. Nothing beats putting people down with truths!

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I'm not sick, but I'm not well.

Posted : 2 weeks, 3 days ago on 25 April 2008 05:37 (A review of Peep Show)

There is a popular group doing the rounds on Facebook entitled: "If you don't like Peep Show, you're probably not worth knowing", and I think that's a message that rings true.

Peep show is a pioneering Channel 4 comedy which if filmed almost entirely in a first person perspective. Amidst the hilarious exchanges and awkward scenarios encountered by the main duo, you hear a narration of the thoughts that are going on in their head, and these voice-overs are woven in seamlessly during a conversation. It's sheer brilliance.

The characters are two men who live at the complete opposites of the social spectrum. Drawn together by the fact that they are university friends, the hard-working, prudish, self-deprecating Mark keeps Jeremy, his lazy, bone-idle impulsive friend as a flatmate throughout the numerous series'. It is a recipe for pure comedy.

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I am the law!

Posted : 2 weeks, 3 days ago on 25 April 2008 04:44 (A review of Judge Dredd)

This film suffers from an appalling rating on IMDb, but it's not deserved. Judge Dredd is based on the principle character of the 2000AD comic book series published in England. I'm not sure if the character itself is as known world wide as it is in England, but the comic book version is a no-nonsense, hyper-violent, Justice-preserving machine!

Although the film isn't as bloodthirsty as the comics, the scenarios that Dredd finds himself in, the plot line in general and even his huge imposing figure is a perfect representation of a comic book hero who deals with such farcical situations on a routine basis! In the film, Dread is framed for the murder of a chief of justice or something... it doesn't really matter, we've seen it all before and it's a regular 'clear your name' affair. The Judge does so with aplomb, with some hysterically cliche moments to go along with it.

I'll never forget the moment of realisation that Dread has out in the wastelands after he's just iced a marauding band of cannibals and just happens to see his former boss next to the Chief Lady Justice statue! Why on earth that would be there is anyone's guess, but if there's anything that can motivate the law himself, it's that statue! Comic book greatness.

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Black Snake Moan review

Posted : 2 weeks, 3 days ago on 25 April 2008 04:06 (A review of Black Snake Moan)

I wasn't immediately sure what to make of this film. On the one hand I appreciated the fundamentally sincere performances from both Samuel L. Jackson and Christina Ricci, but on the other hand I figured the story was ultimately pointless, it never left me feeling fulfilled.

Christina Ricci plays a woman who is addicted to sex and this eventually leads to her being beaten and essentially left for dead at the side of the road. Luckily for her, kind Samaritan Sam L. is on hand to take her in and help her recover, but being a man of staunch morals and religious dignity, he sees her nymphomatic ways and seeks to stamp them out of her. Obviously, the thought of a black man keeping a white woman chained to his secluded farmhouse is going to raise tensions and throughout the film I assumed that something terrible was going to become of it. I was surprised however, that nothing of the sort really happened.

I'm not sure what to make of the development of the main characters either, Sam L seemed to be eternally troubled, but his demons disappeared as soon as he played the blues with his old band at the local bar, then again Ricci's severe sexual impulses were always bordering on returning at the end of the film too, so what gives? In summary, great acting, I loved Sam L's live performances, but generally a pointless story.

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Collateral Damage review

Posted : 2 weeks, 3 days ago on 25 April 2008 03:45 (A review of Collateral Damage)

Heading into the twilight of his marvellous (MARVELLOUS!) film career, Arnie attempted to grow old with dignity with Collateral Damage. His idea of dignity involves solving a problem without the use of a firearm and growing some endearing facial hair to emphasise his rugged features. Arnie plays an every day American hero - a fireman - who loses everything one day when terrorist scum bags decide to detonate his wife and child with a huge bomb.

Labelled as 'Collateral Damage' by the authorities, Arnie has to seek his own justice after his country turns its back on him. This involves a terrifying trip to Columbia, thought to be the hideout of the heinous terrorist leader. Credit where credit's due, Arnie's character isn't an 'Ex-navy SEAL' or 'Ex Royal Marine SAS training commando', he's just a fireman, and at times he seems to convincingly portray a man out of his depth.

Sadly, I didn't really enjoy the film. It was just one of those films that was a little bit boring, maybe because there weren't enough 'more bodies than bullets' gunfights that we're so used to seeing with the big man! Or maybe it was because the film underwent many revisions after the 9/11 bomb attacks in one of those insane examples of quality being compromised for perceived decency.

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Just a flesh wound!

Posted : 2 weeks, 3 days ago on 25 April 2008 03:37 (A review of Last Action Hero)

Arnie shows his lighter side in this comedy/action film from the directorial legend John McTiernan. Essentially a modern-day fairy tale, Last Action Hero centres around a film-loving kid who will stop at nothing to see his favourite big screen idol in action - something that eventually lands him in trouble with his mother after he even goes as far as to skip school to do so.

When seeing an advanced screening of Jack Slater IV - he is offered a mysterious cinema ticket, said to contain magical powers before the showing. Cue a freak event that switches him from his real world of mundaneness into the action-packed hollywood film land and straight into the back seat of a car-chase currently commencing with his hero Slater (Arnie) as the driver.

This film was panned at the box office, but I don't see why, it's just a harmless piece of fun. It is littered with intentional cliches and cameo appearances from some of my favourite film stars. It's a movie that doesn't take itself too seriously and it's good to see the action film genre poking fun at itself. There are some classic gags involved and I particularly enjoyed the appearance of Ian McKellen!

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