Grand Assault's Games > Game reviews by Grand Assault

Generally boring

Posted : 3 months, 1 week ago on 2 August 2009 08:16 (A review of Command & Conquer: Generals)

C&C: Generals is the least amount of fun I've had whilst playing a Command & Conquer game. It marked EA's first foray into the franchise and left me seriously worried about what the future held for some of my favourite RTS games. It focuses on three new armies and a world that's completely new to the C&C universe where you play as either the United States of Technology (USA), The People's Republic of Brute Force (China) or the Guerilla Warfare Terrorists (GLA).

Generals focuses on much more realistic combat, but this somehow manages to suck some of the fun out of playing. Two of my biggest disappointments in the game were how universally pointless infantry were, and how prevalent your superweapons are. Each faction has its own specific superweapon, but they can build as many of them as they like, meaning it's quite possible to win every mission just by sitting back and constructing 30 nuclear warhead silos before unleashing them all at once (on top of your support powers!).

Unlike previous C&Cs, there were barely any cinematics between missions, meaning the story was not very well revealed at all. I found myself absolutely not caring about either faction or the state of the planet as a whole as the story was revealed without any urgency or compassion. And you always kind of know that the GLA isn't going to beat the US and China, game developers surely wouldn't allow such a thing!

Whilst the game isn't really bad, it just never captured me and I really struggled to have FUN with it. There are scenes of beautiful destruction and tank battles feel a bit more realistic, but the terrain, the troops, the story, the factions and the outcomes just aren't interesting in the slightest. It's just a mad rush to build up enough of an army before a) your resources run out or b) you get superweaponed into oblivion. If it didn't bear the C&C name I'd probably feel less contempt towards it.

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Red Alert 3 :/

Posted : 3 months, 1 week ago on 1 August 2009 02:48 (A review of Command & Conquer: Red Alert 3)

I'll start by saying that I can't believe they got away with releasing this game. It took them eight whole years to conjure a sequel to Red Alert 2, but the final result looks more like the efforts of just eight minutes of development time. This could very well have been released as an expansion pack for Red Alert 2, because neither the gameplay nor the graphics have actually been improved since their efforts in 2000.

RA2 destroyed all seriousness from the franchise, but at least supplemented that with new gameplay and improved cinematic sequences. RA3 has gone gung-ho on the farcical scale and ramped it up to beyond outrageous. The cut scenes are still the highlight of the game, but there are numerous plot holes and coincidences that make you roll your eyes until they hurt. It definitely has to be approached with your tongue in your cheek, and there is absolutely no seriousness left in the game. When you beat an opponent, they often appear with a communications message along the lines of "I'll get you next time!" and a virtual shake of the fist. Imagine if real war was like that!?

The only thing that has really changed is that your units have alternate fire modes. Obviously the computer can micromanage these units with army-crushing ease, but it's a bit more difficult for a human being to do so. I'd have liked to have seen a bit more ingenious AI from my units who simply refuse to fire on their attackers because I've accidentally left them toggled on an alternate weapon.

RTS purists should avoid this game at all costs, because it adds absolutely nothing to the genre. Your units still make mistakes that are unforgivable in a modern day RTS, like not looking for or being able to utilise cover, or by grouping into perfectly even spaced diamond formations. Many units are also blighted by the fact that they're difficult to control. Naval units will just spawn on top of each other when they exit the naval yard, meaning 30 aircraft carriers can occupy exactly the same space and look like one unit. It's also difficult to order some units - such as expensive bombers - back to base. They'd rather fly in a circle waiting to get shot up.

The one and only saving grace for this game is its multiplayer function. You can opt to play the entire campaign mode co-operatively with a friend, or team up against the computer in skirmish mode. That is the only real fun I've had from the game so far, which I doubt will have what it takes to remain installed on my comp for many more weeks. In all, a real let down, but fun amongst friends.

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Look how far we've come.

Posted : 3 months, 2 weeks ago on 19 July 2009 12:55 (A review of Grand Theft Auto IV)

I'd heard a lot of things about GTA IV that took the edge off of my expectations for the game. I was told that it was much scaled down, size-wise, compared to San Andreas. I was also told that some of the little things that made SA so perfect were also removed, such as base jumping platforms and the ability to nose-dive 747s into the middle of Las Vegas, seconds after parachuting out unscathed. My perception, therefore, was that GTA IV would be a game built solely to test the power of the next gen consoles, before they rolled out a bigger and better GTA V.

After completing the game, I can say without hesitation that neither of these features really obstructed my enjoyment of GTA IV. However, it was nowhere near on par with San Andreas in terms of replayability or initial impressions. There are just some things lacking with GTA IV that make it feel like an incomplete gaming experience. It has the potential to be wholly satisfying, but for some reason it isn't.

You play as Niko Bellic, an Eastern European immigrant fresh off the boat and ready to capitalise on the American Dream. Before long he realises he's been brought to the US under false pretences and he is rapidly absorbed into the criminal underbelly of Liberty City. I immediately disliked the main protagonist and he failed to completely win me over throughout the course of the game. Niko is a direct, soulless killer driven by the simple desire to acquire money. I got bored of him really quickly, and this is partly due to the fact that each of his meetings with new acquaintances play out in exactly the same way - 'I'll do anything as long as I get paid'.

Liberty City has some really visually appealing areas, such as the Times Square inspired 'Star Junction' and Coney Island's representative, Firefly Island. There are obviously countless Manhattan landmarks that also appear, many of which are truly inspiring places to visit in a computer game. What I felt the map did lack was a large open space to cruise around in, as that was a particular favourite past time of mine in San Andreas.

The plot is a standard GTA affair. Much maligned male becomes involved in petty crime and builds a reputation to the extent that he meets super crime families. Nothing new is explored here, though on very few occasions you have the choice to end certain missions in one of two ways, though it is so obvious which is the 'good' and which is the 'bad' outcome on each that it's not really a choice at all.

Several aspects are improved on the last GTA game, including the ability to summon the emergency services with a phone call. This is handy if you need a paramedic or need to steal a squad car. It is also now possible to outrun the police, given that they have a sphere of detection when they're after you. If you escape their patrol route then you can consider yourself a free man. It's amazing how much of a great addition this is to the game as you no longer wait for chance or cheats to lower your wanted level. Many of the over-complicated RPG elements from San Andreas are also removed, such as the need to work out, swim and increase your ability to drive certain vehicles. In my eyes, that's a good thing.

The PC version has an absolute nightmare with the insulting Digital Rights Management security system. When I first installed the game it was fine, but a re-install some months later caused all manner of cataclysmic problems and required several patches and ultimately a different disc drive to make the game work again. How publishers can get away with this, I'll never know. The graphics are also ready and waiting to be slid up to maximum, but I'm not sure any graphics card is quite prepared to show you liberty city in all of its stunning detail just yet. I still had a thoroughly enjoyable gaming experience and night time helicopter flybys of the statue of liberty were still sufficiently impressive enough to drop my jaw.

In short, the characters and the diminished map meant I didn't enjoy this GTA as much as San Andreas. A one-dimensional protagonist and a cast of uninteresting support characters also sapped my intention to ever play the game through again. Whereas I could lose days just wondering around San Andreas post-completion, the lack of places to explore in Liberty City and the infuriating 'friends' feature go far to drain the enjoyment of roaming in GTA IV once the main campaign is finished. Other than that, it's just another GTA game, a welcome addition and one that's well worth playing anyway.


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Total carnage!

Posted : 9 months, 1 week ago on 27 January 2009 07:07 (A review of Shogun: Total War)

Shogun: Total War is the first instalment of the Total War series that would go on to create an intriguing new procession of mixed genre games. Shogun is set in the Feudal Era of Japanese history and the overall premise is simple. You must take control of one of the several warring factions battling for ultimate power in Japan and defeat all the others that stand in your way. I have to say, slaughtering my way across the land of the rising sun in order to unite the people under one banner was every bit as enjoyable as it sounds.

The first aspect of Shogun to master is the 'world map' screen. It is in fact a map of Japan split into various territories, each governed by different warlords, your own army or masterless rebels. You can only see territories adjacent to your own provinces, so the goings on elsewhere in Japan are completely unknown to you. Occupying your provinces are armies - each one represented by a single troop marker bearing a banner, the more red the banner, the more troops you have. You can divide your troops, combine armies and bolster them with newly trained recruits at leisure. Your armies are obviously the most important part of your campaign. You need them to keep the peace, defend your lands and carve a trail of destruction into enemy territory.


Provinces ripe for the taking!

Along with the warlord's armies, other features of the map include representations of emissaries, priests and military strongholds which often designate areas of extreme technological advancement - or killing fields for your assassins. You must decide whom to ally and wage war with, whilst splitting your wealth and technology across your ever growing territory.

The second aspect of Total War to master is the combat. Someone dropped their army into your territory? Prepare to do battle with whatever army you have on hand to fight the threat. The battle screen is completely different to the world map. You have the opportunity to arrange your troops into formations and strategically reposition them before a fight if you have the luxury of defending. If you're on the attack it is up to you to destroy or rout the opposing force before the time runs out (which is usually more than ample). Each unit represents around 50 men and it is up to you to tell them who to attack, when to retreat and keep their morale high. If your archers are charged by horseback then they're going to die - and your other troops might not be so confident after seeing your army take so many losses.

In comparison to later Total War games, Shogun does have a fairly limited number of different troop types, which make tactics easy to master. Stick your warrior monks in a forest on top of a hill and watch the bodies pile up as they destroy everything that comes to face them. The troops also react to the experience of your general in battle. If he is a combat noob with more chance of killing himself on the green grasses of Japan, then the troops will not be inspired and higher ranking units will be more likely to charge without being ordered to. Conversely, if he's a bad ass, they'll receive huge morale boosts. This feature was again elaborated on greater in latter releases, but the fundamental elements were trialled here.


In foggy conditions, the drunken farmers you call archers are probably even less likely to hit their target. They'll need a lot of practice before they can knock a samurai off his horse from a thousand paces.

The devastation that can be inflicted on the field of battle is immense in scale. With a total of approximately 1100 troops population cap for each army, the pulses are there for the ceasing. Memorable moments often include any skirmish on a map with a bridge, in which a unit of poorly trained spearmen, backed with peasant archers can usually hold of a marauding army of far greater prestige. This could arguably be considered a bug, but these Goliath kill counts never cease to produce the laughs.

Finally, as you work your way along a timeline, Japan suffers from the introductions of Christianity and gunpowdered weaponry and you may decide to change your tactics accordingly. I've nothing but fond memories of this game and it's simplicity and multitude of features made it an excellent predecessor for Medieval: Total War to build on.




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Wasteland wonder

Posted : 11 months, 1 week ago on 3 December 2008 12:31 (A review of Fallout 3)

The third instalment of the Fallout franchise is nothing short of epic. The game takes place in the Capital Wasteland of Washington DC, a huge, desolate environment which houses relentless depression and danger. The post-apocalyptic landscape is littered with the remnants of human society, devastated by nuclear attack. Now, some 30 years after the events of Fallout 2 and 200 years since the atomic bombs fell, humanity appears no closer to rebuilding a safe and productive future.

We are introduced to the game’s protagonist as a newborn in Vault 101. Here we get to pick what our character will look like via hundreds of different facial manipulation options (which, no matter how hard you tweak, invariably results in something reptilian and ugly). The game then accelerates through the first 19 years of your life before ousting you from the claustrophobic (yet relatively safe) confines of the vault and into the expansive and unforgiving wasteland outside. The reason for such disruption in your unassuming life? Your father has inexplicably escaped the vault, and it’s up to you to adventure out to find him.

Upon exiting the vault, you may have already made decisions that affect just how notorious your character will be out in the wastes. The Karma system sees everything, from theft of other people’s property, to stealthy executions and all out massacres of fellow wasteland survivors. Whether you decide to be a hero or a villain builds you a reputation which other people then react to across the map. Your karma can also be altered by your actions during ‘quests’, in which there are often open-ended ways of completing the task at hand. If you decide to help, hinder or euthanise your way through other people’s problems, expect to take the karma hits and the resulting bounty hunters that object to your way of life.

Life on the planes is a harsh affair, with mutated insects, beasts and super mutants all wanting to put an end to your miserable existence. The one thing that prevents you gawping at the marvellous ‘lived in’ scenery is the fact that everything around you is trying to kill you. If you go out into the wasteland unprepared, be sure to expect a rapid demise. Your armour and weapons decrease in efficiency with use, so maintaining them is a must. There’s nothing worse than your gun destroying itself in the heat of a firefight. As well as the numerous bad guys strolling the landscape, there are also various friendlies around who often help you out by trading and occassionally even lend a hand in a firefight if their own life is put in danger.

Once you’re outside, how you live your life is entirely up to you. Whether you want to follow in your fathers footsteps, or completely ignore his existence and write yourself into apocalyptic folklore elsewhere is a choice for you to make. There are scores of side quests to attempt, that often result in some handy hardware and much-needed levelling up opportunities. Upon your emergence from Vault 101, you are almost entirely useless with every weapon at your disposal, so experience is a must and with it brings confidence to explore further into the heart of the Wasteland area.

The game is not without faults, however. On particularly infuriating bug sees your character get stuck in the scenery (under a stair well or in a tiny rock divot for example) and thus, multiple saves - or dabbling with noclipping - is recommended. Another fair criticism of the game is that it lacks enemy variety - each enemy type is generally encountered within the first couple of hours of gameplay - although I have found it difficult to become bored of the encounters in spite of this. Occasionally your mission parameters do not update to the dynamic gameplay of the wasteland - for example, if your mission is to find a gentleman that you have already blown away, then the quest may not always recognise this, leaving you with the option to ignore the task forever, or finish it off with shotgun diplomacy by killing everyone involved. This isn’t always ideal when you are trying to lead a heroic life!

Finally, although on the grand scale the graphics are impressive, closer inspection reveals areas of extremely repetitive texture use and lazy rounded edges. Then again, the strong point of Fallout 3 is the gameplay and anybody looking for crystal-clear realism should probably be playing Crysis: Warhead by now anyway.

All in all, a game this epic doesn’t come around very often, and should be played by as many gamers as possible because of its pure ambition. Even the bugs are relatively easy to overlook and an enjoyable gaming experience awaits anyone willing to give it a chance. Although the primary quest is relatively short, there is well over fifty hours of gameplay locked away in the rest of the Wasteland and an obvious attraction would be to replay it again as an evil/good player (depending on how you went about things first time around).

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Snake knows no pain, Snake knows no fear!

Posted : 1 year ago on 6 November 2008 10:38 (A review of Metal Gear Solid 3: Snake Eater)

As a massive fan of the Metal Gear franchise I can say I am utterly ashamed at how long it has taken me to finally pick up and play this instalment. It wasn’t until I saw Snake’s weather-beaten face staring back at me from the cover of MGS: 4 on the shop shelves that made me realise I had some serious catching up to do before I could even contemplate such an extravagant purchase. At the time of its release I was initially fed mixed reviews about it from my friends. Some said it was only average while others enjoyed it immensely, despite their propensity for despising console gaming. I was hesitant myself due to the setting of MGS: 3 – the jungle, as well as the fact that it was a prequel to the previous Metal Gear games.

Considering Konami’s habit of releasing ‘satellite’ titles for the MGS series that act as supplementary games, I wondered if this instalment was supposed to be a standalone game or instead an integral part of the overall storyline. It’s most definitely the latter and I’m thoroughly glad I played it.

The game formats follows that of MGS:2 fairly closely, in that you take on a short initial mission that guides you through the basics of the game – such as hunting for food, camouflage, the radio system and sneaking basics – before you then undertake a related mission that serves as the bulk of the game. You play as Naked Snake, a character visually identical in appearance and speech to Solid Snake from previous games. From the very beginning of the game, references to previous instalments are present in abundance. For a start, Snake begins wearing a disguise to protect his identity, this disguise is a Raiden mask; then when jumping from a plane, Snake’s breathing mask apparatus resembles the Psycho Mantis mask from Metal Gear Solid.

These subtle nuances and references to previous games are what make Metal Gear games so rewarding to play as a gamer. The game constantly ‘breaks the fourth wall’ and treats the player as a spectator who has been through both the good and bad with Snake from the very beginning. On top of visual cues, radio conversations (which you can initiate at random) drop massive hints and foreboding warnings about what might happen in the future if genetic engineering, weapons development and other controversial endeavours are left unchecked. These work so well considering this game is a prequel set in the 1960s. When the radio medic makes a throwaway comment about Snake’s genes being coveted in the future, it ceases to be funny and instead triggers a moment of recognition in anyone who has played all of the MGS games (Snake’s genes being the basis of the Les Enfants Terrible project – and the Metal Gear Solid game). While most game developers might think this is a terrifically clever ploy and rub it in the face of a gamer, it is very easy to miss these pearls of wisdom in Snake Eater, as they sometimes only arise after repeated calls to your radio crew.

I started off thinking the game was worthy of an eight-out-of-ten. I was initially frustrated at the way the game handled for me. The immediate thing to notice is that Snake does not have a radar in the corner of the screen to tell him where enemies are. Granted, this isn’t a problem for gamers who played previous instalments on Extreme difficulty mode, but for me it began as a major frustration. This annoyance is compounded by the awkward camera angles. As a third-person game the camera can often do you no favours. I lost count how many times I had to run forward into an area, switch to first-person view, then run back to assess my plan of action. This gave guards ample time to detect me and generally shoot me to death. It took a lot longer than the initial ‘Virtuous Mission’ segment to get to grips with the controls and become confident as a stealth agent.

I then figured it was worthy of a nine-out-of-ten when I discovered how fulfilling the CQC system was. Using Close Quarters Combat, you can generally silently and ruthlessly dispatch, interrogate (and then dispatch) or knock out (and then kill!) any guard unfortunate to get close to you. The option to slit a guards throat is so instantly satisfying that I almost had the urge to go and try it out in real life. Of course, for the stealthier player, instant knockouts, or using guards as human shields/battering rams may be more satisfying (though I doubt it).

The storyline in comparison to MGS: 2 is infinitely more easy to follow. You are present to rescue a soviet scientist who is being forced to develop a mobile nuclear missile launcher. Set in the height of the Cold War, a renegade general plans to use the device to overthrow the Soviet Prime Minister and then presumably unite the world via a nuclear apocalypse. We can’t let that happen. Along the way, you are to deal with the ‘Queen of the American armed forces’ who has defected to the Soviet Union. She was Snake’s mentor, which breeds an intense relationship between the two as the game progresses. Finally, a band of almost supernatural freaks (much like Vamp et al., from MGS: 2) are also in cahoots with the renegade general and must be dealt with swiftly along the way.

Finally, as with every other Metal Gear Solid game, there are a number of Easter eggs along the way that can be discovered (often by accident) which are also very rewarding. Another example; during an early confrontation with a young Ocelot, Snake renders him unconscious before you resume control of him. If you then put a bullet in Ocelot’s head you are confronted with a Game Over screen and then reprimanded by your commanding officer over the radio for creating a ‘Time Paradox’. It’s exactly this kind of reason that makes a Metal Gear game so unlike any other to play. Given the amount of time I’ve spent recalling the plot over the last few days, I think I might eventually bump the rating to a ten-out-of-ten. If I can overcome the initial frustrations of being inadequate, there’s no reason this game is in any way inferior to its predecessors.


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Unclouded memories.

Posted : 1 year, 3 months ago on 2 August 2008 07:20 (A review of Final Fantasy VII)

Final Fantasy VII marked the first foray into 3D RPG gaming for Japanese giant Squaresoft. It was also the first of three hugely successful titles released on the PlayStation console. For many of us growing up in the digital age, it is fondly remembered as a first RPG game and the immense success of the sequels is almost entirely attributable to the solid fan base that this particular game garnered. There are very few RPG series' that can claim to hold such a monopoly over the genre as the Final Fantasy legacy, which is a title that enjoys moderate recognition amongst casual game players, rather than just RPG aficionados.

The game itself throws you straight into the action. The first time I ever played it I was amazed at how the graphics of the opening FMV were seemingly interwoven with the start of the game. You take on the role of a cocky mercenary in the midst of a mission to detonate a huge energy reactor in a dystopian hell-hole of a city. Your character is flippant and disassociated with the task at hand, making it clear that he does not share any of the environmental motivations that fuel his allies on this mission. The three characters you meet early on form the core of the party for the rest of the game. From this point forward the story escalates in scope, beginning with missions in one major city, to eventually embarking on a global campaign to defend the world from celestial obliteration.

The story is epic in scope, building an intense rivalry between the game's protagonist - Cloud Strife, and his former colleague and elite SOLDIER - Sephiroth. As the story unravels, your enemy is increasingly portrayed as a demi-god whose quest for total domination will casually result in the destruction of the civilised world. The rivalry that escalates is intense and believable, made all the more poignant by the personal and mental toll it takes on the emotions and mindset of the protagonist.



At the time of its release, the graphics were lauded as revolutionary and extremely detailed. Nowadays, with the game over ten years old, no player would honestly use those words to describe the visuals. That is why I think it's remarkable that people still pick up and get into the game, even today. The FMV's still hold their own and are vital in conveying highly detailed parts of the storyline, as well as giving you a welcome higher definition example of what monster you are fighting, or how your characters look when they are not pixelated blocks of colour. Each character brings a unique personality to the table, all adding quite substantially to the storyline. Even the two 'hidden' characters have their own moments in the spotlight, with one of the two actually divulging a huge plot twist.

The battle schematics are as good as it gets for a turn-based Active Time Battle system. The magic and weapon systems allow a massive capacity for different tactics and playing styles. Characters are not restricted to a certain type of play as they have been in other Final Fantasy games (e.g a white mage, a black mage, etc), which dispels the established roles of men and women in your party. In my opinion, the Materia system has not been surpassed in any Final Fantasy sequel to date. The complement of limit breaks enhance the unique characteristics of each party member and when dishing them out to an enemy, the feel well-earned and actually have real compassion about them. There are multiple methods, tactics and strategies that can be employed to beat the toughest of enemies and despite playing through the game at least five times to completion, I've never felt as if I've completely mastered and made full use of the system.

Ultimately, the reason I fell in love with the game was its story and its characters. Although some personalities are certainly clichéd, they are, on the whole, a very flawed bunch who struggle with their new expected roles as saviours of the planet. With an increasingly psychotic and almost mythical antagonist taunting them along the journey, you are taken to new weird and wonderful locations, constantly battling against a quite brilliant supporting cast of non-playable characters. The game itself spawned an entire universe of follow-ons and sequels, but my advice would be to ignore them all and take the game as face value. It's much more interesting and debate sparking that way.



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I'm a little busy here!

Posted : 1 year, 3 months ago on 10 July 2008 02:24 (A review of Company of Heroes)

Company of Heroes is a World War II real-time strategy game developed by Relic Entertainment for Microsoft. There are two main gameplay modes to choose from as the player can either choose to follow the 'campaign mode' - following scripted and sequential battles roughly corresponding to the historical course of World War II, or 'multiplayer mode' - where skirmishes against the AI or online battles against friends and total strangers are options.

There are several aspects of the game which put it streets ahead of both other World War II based games and the RTS genre in general. The graphics are a major strong point, with extremely detailed troops and armoured units which you can zoom in and out from at leisure with the help of your mouse wheel. The terrain in CoH is also extremely detailed and utilising the cover opportunities that old stone walls and abandoned tractors can give you is essential for success. The level of detail and realism isn't just thrown in to look nice, the environment is dynamic and all the while your troops can find cover in newly created craters from artillery strikes, or behind the ruins of a recently destroyed tank. This means your tactics also change to suit the terrain. The dependence on cover in the game enhances the realism no end as you find yourself trying to outflank garrisoned buildings and artillery guns instead of assaulting them head on as you would in other RTS games. The audio soundbytes of each unit are also worthy of mention. The troops say some legendary things, and can often let you know what problems they are facing when under attack (even if you are not looking at them on the map).

The resource system is maintained, but has one benefit in that all resources are infinite. It's up to you and your army to go out and secure strategic points on the map which generate one of three main expendables: fuel, manpower and ammunition. This feature forces players to think aggressively and seek to expand their territory rather than turtling up units in their base. Another benefit of this game is the population cap you have on your army, preventing massed units of tanks that steamroll everything in their path. You are forced to build a well rounded army and look after every one of your troops. The population cap expands gradually as more resource points are ascertained, though it never reaches a massive amount, leaving room for strategy over cataclysmic assaults.

The campaign mode follows the American army as it invades Normandy and beyond. Interspliced between and during missions are short cut scenes which introduce us to protagonists of the story. These scenes are often filled with some generic war time clichés, but they never detract from the fun and are, more often than not, ultra violent. By the time you complete the campaign mode, you may feel just about ready enough to take on the online multiplayer world. Although there are only two armies at your command, each has a very unique set of units, upgrades and unit type, which takes time to master.

The only negative aspect of my playing experience came from the ridiculous Relic-online registry system, whereby I had to download approximately 2GB worth of patches before I could even start the normal game campaign. The anti-piracy software is extremely over the top and even makes me thankful that Steam (which this game is now available on) isn't as infuriating as this. Other than that, I instantly fell in love with the game, which can provide moments of extreme hilarity and heroism. Having fun with a dozen Sherman Calliopes or spawning in twenty or so V2 rocket hits ends in unrivalled carnage.

But don't cheat until you've completed it!

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Mortal Kombat review

Posted : 1 year, 6 months ago on 19 April 2008 05:23 (A review of Mortal Kombat)

Without a doubt, the inferior fighting game franchise to come out of the 90's. For me, this would never compete with the mighty Street Fighter. There were never enough characters, never enough moves, the fighting was bugged (you could just sweep an opponent to death) and it felt far too choppy (even for the technological constraints at the time). They tried to make a game that was far too serious and compensated for a lack of ingenuity with shed loads of blood and violent finishing moves.

Who were they trying to kid!? The faux-3D graphics weren't fooling anybody, the music was sub par and the stages and arenas were nothing special either. The depressing/intense mood they were trying to convey always took the fun out of playing it for me when I was a kid, the lame character choices and complete lack of variety in the move lists made it feel like a very claustrophobic game to boot.

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Home Alone 2: Lost in New York review

Posted : 1 year, 6 months ago on 19 April 2008 02:56 (A review of Home Alone 2: Lost in New York)

It's unbelievable what the Super Nintendo used to get away with in terms of games. Looking back at these film-to-game conversions there's no reason why this one should stick out amidst the many that were released around the same time in a cheap attempt to cash in on a wave of cinema-going excitement. But for some reason, I played this game a lot. I'm almost embarrassed to admit it now, I don't think I'd ever be seen dead buying a game-of-a-film these days.

The gameplay was the most basic side-scrolling action you can ever imagine. All you had to do was dodge people walking around and of course dreaded stray appliances like hoovers and the like which would apparently kill you on impact. Thank God gaming has improved since then. I played it again recently on an emulator and was completely unimpressed.

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