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All reviews - Movies (276) - TV Shows (42) - Books (13) - Music (75) - Games (82)

Let off some steam, Bennett!

Posted : 11 years, 9 months ago on 11 February 2007 03:56 (A review of Commando)

Commando is the archetype of the all action hollywood blockbuster. The acting it laughable, the dialogue - cringeworthy. There are more explosions and gunfights than you can shake a stick at. The protagonist is Mr Universe, his nemesis, a camp, chain-mail wearing australian.

This film has some of the funniest and most memorable lines of any action film and the final scene registers one of the highest body counts ever seen on celluloid. I wouldn't have it any other way. What a film!

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Posted : 11 years, 9 months ago on 11 February 2007 03:40 (A review of The Passion Of The Christ (2004))

I approached this film with a fairly open mind and I can't say I was disappointed. It's a strong stand-alone movie with tremendous acting and believable performances. Passion of the Christ is an extremely taxing on the emotions, regardless of your beliefs, and it should succeed in invoking some strong reactions from everyone who watches it.

Anyone of a religious disposition, or even those forced to sit through religious education at school, knows the story of Jesus and his crucifixion. The film portrays in graphic detail, Jesus' last days on Earth, from his capture through to his death and resurrection.

Despite this positive review, it succeeds in inflicting such a disturbing psychological response that I honestly don't think I could ever watch it again and be comfortable about it. I guess that is testament (no pun intended) to how powerful the storytelling and characters are. I can only think of anti-Christian crusaders having a real problem with Passion of the Christ, which in itself is an extremely capable film.

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Lady in the Water review

Posted : 11 years, 9 months ago on 11 February 2007 02:27 (A review of Lady in the Water)

Hahaha, this was probably one of the most ridiculous films I've ever seen. I thought this film was awful and predictable. I really did dislike it and felt I deserved a refund. I appreciate the fact that it's supposed to be fantastical, but I don't see the point to it.

The movie introduces you to a bunch of typically 'quirky' characters who will all be very important later in the story, then builds a rubbish plot around them. The icing on the cake for me was the kid (who we all knew would be the symbolist or whatever he was) reading the cereal boxes. It was so obvious that the first people he picked for the jobs weren't the correct people for that purpose. How unpredictable that the only man in the film with any muscle mass at all is the guardian too! Nice one Shambles.

I just love the fact that everyone instantly buys the story that the superintendent tells them, too. Oh, and M. Night Shambles just happens to cameo as a misunderstood genius who will rescue mankind with his writing. What a crock. You're not the messiah! Hopefully, after two very poor films in a row, people will think twice before throwing money at this director again.

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War of the Worlds review

Posted : 11 years, 9 months ago on 11 February 2007 02:19 (A review of War of the Worlds)

As a big fan of both the original book and even the musical score, I found myself highly disappointed by this film. I knew I was in trouble from the off, when I realised that it wasn't even set in England. Ok, I thought, England always gets overlooked for hollywood adaptations, but maybe it will still be ok.

But no. Aside from all of the flaws mentioned in a previous review, I was utterly astonished to find that these aliens were transported to earth into pre-built tripod machines. What a ridiculous concept! One of the main themes of the book is how life on Earth continued as normal whilst the alien race went about slowly building their killing machines. These tripods were also impervious to attacks because they were covered with a forcefield. What nonsense! The human race takes out several tripods in the book, it gives humanity a sense of hope.

Oglivy was a mishmash of different characters which was just one big mistake and the actual aliens themselves were lithe and nimble creatures, instead of the pulsating, uncomfortable, bear-sized masses that they are originally described as being in the novel.

I understand that they had to try and touch a few things up to make this film more modern, but the end result left me wondering: Why bother?

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Moby-Dick or, The Whale review

Posted : 11 years, 9 months ago on 11 February 2007 01:49 (A review of Moby-Dick or, The Whale)

The classic whaling tale.

Everybody knows how the storyline goes, but few know of how delightful the book actually is to read. I picked this up when going through a phase of loving anything nautical and I felt I owed it to myself to read a real classic. I'm glad I did, because at the very least I felt a great feeling of accomplishment once I was finished. I was somewhat shocked to see just how comical and well written this book was. I was engrossed from start to finish. As a warning I'd highlight the fact that there remains an abriged and unabridged version of the story and I ploughed through the latter, which means there were a lot of miscellaneous chapters regarding what can only be described as the authors own feelings on whales, their taxonomy and his feelings on hunting. I would recommend the abridged version to anyone who just wants to get on with the ripping good story!

The notorious storyline and the characters were definitely enjoyable and entertaining, and I love books like this which open your eyes to the source of many popular culture references, song lyrics, names etc. It also succeeded in making me sympathise with one of the most noble of professions, despite the negative connotations that whaling caries today.

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Top quality family entertainment

Posted : 11 years, 9 months ago on 11 February 2007 01:29 (A review of Home Improvement)

I remember watching this show thorughout the 90's when it was aired irregularly on UK television. I didn't really think much more about it at the time, but some ten years later, I discovered it again on abc1 and I totally fell in love with it again.

Maybe I'm constantly blinded by the sense of nostalgia I feel when I watch it, but I think it's just great. You essentially know what you're going to get in each episode. The trademark brand of Tim Allen comedy mixed with characters who are essentially household names. I can just sit down and watch day-long marathons of this programme and never get bored. It's like a tumour that thrives on my free-time! It's not even that funny!

Top stuff!

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Definitely one for a younger audience

Posted : 11 years, 9 months ago on 11 February 2007 01:16 (A review of My Neighbor Totoro)

Whereas other Ghibli films are more suitable for all ages, I felt this film was far more accessible for younger people. There wasn't much to engage the older viewer.

Set in a picturesque town deep in the countryside, this fantastical story involves two girls who befriend Totoro, a lazy tree-dwelling creature who provides them with all the escapism they need after having to come to terms with their unwell mother.

That's the gist of the story, there really isn't much else to describe! I found myself losing interest part way through, but I certainly don't think it's a bad film.

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Posted : 11 years, 9 months ago on 11 February 2007 01:01 (A review of Akira)

This film is an absolute masterpiece.

The animation is fantastic and it still impresses to this day, which is really saying something given that this film is fast approaching the 20th anniversary of its release.

In the opening scene we see Tokyo being erased of the map in a flash of brilliant light. Later we find that this was thought to be a result of nuclear activity, which sparked a third world war.

Set in the dystopian future where humans only seem to care about satisfying their superficial desires, ignoring the crumbling and increasingly lawless world around them, this film trails a group of bikers, one of whom is abducted by the brutally oppresive government for scientific experimentation. The film follows his friends who attempt to locate and rescue their fellow gang member.

One thing that really struck me about this film was its flawless soundtrack. It really captures and accentuates the surrounding world that these people live in. The final scenes of this film are ones which have to be seen first hand as they are utterly indescribable.

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Howl's Moving Castle review

Posted : 11 years, 9 months ago on 11 February 2007 12:45 (A review of Howl's Moving Castle)

Being a Ghibli production, you know that it is going to provide top class entertainment, enchanting storylines and beautiful settings. This film is no different and I would say it is one of the better films to be released by the studio.

In a steampunk setting, we are introduced to some extremely likable characters. Despite it's Universal certificate here in the UK, it still deals with some pretty adult themes, such as war, which pervades the entire film. I would recommend this to anybody, I thought it was a fantastic piece of cinema.

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Bad Boys II (2003) review

Posted : 11 years, 9 months ago on 11 February 2007 12:39 (A review of Bad Boys II (2003))

I don't think it's fair to write a review on this film if you didn't sit through it until the end...

...because you missed some of the most reprehensible parts!

Near the end of this film, Martin Lawrence and his band of narcs manage to invade Cuba undetected, engage the entire cuban army in a gunfight while subsequently blowing up the bad guys house, then embark on a Humvee car chase which sees them plough through a shanty town in one of cuba's poorest areas (no doubt killing hundreds).

This cumulates in a brawl outside Guantanamo bay on a minefield.

I don't think anything else needs to be said!

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